Mediation in divorce and family conflicts: what it can and cannot do

Family conflicts are the hardest of all — not legally, but emotionally. At the mediation table there are not two “parties”, but two people who shared a life and who, more often than not, will remain connected through their children long after any document is signed. In our office, founded by Anca Voican, an authorised mediator since 2013, we often meet such stories — and we know that the way you close a family chapter matters just as much as the outcome itself. This is precisely why family mediation offers a calm, private setting, centred on people and their needs, for closing a family chapter with dignity.

What mediation CANNOT do

Let us be upfront about the essential limit, so you start with the right expectations: the dissolution of the marriage itself is not pronounced by the mediator. Divorce takes place at the civil registrar, at the notary (by the spouses’ agreement, under the law) or in court. Likewise, under Law no. 192/2006, rights the parties cannot legally dispose of are not open to mediation.

That is all. The rest — the children, the home, the money, the assets, in other words almost everything that truly hurts in a separation — can be resolved at the mediation table.

Typical situations family mediation resolves

• The children’s schedule after separation — where the children live and what time with each parent actually looks like: weekends, holidays, celebrations, birthdays, video calls on the “off” days.
• Parental authority — how the parents continue to make important decisions together, about school, health or travel abroad.
• Child support — each parent’s contribution to the children’s upbringing and education: the amount, the payment method, due dates, adjustments over time.
• Division of common property — who keeps the house, how savings, loans and belongings are split; we dedicated a separate article to property division through mediation, without a lawsuit.
• Divorce by agreement, prepared in mediation — the understandings about the children and the assets are built at the mediation table, and the marriage itself is then dissolved at the notary or the civil registrar, under the law, or in court.
• Disagreements about continuing the marriage — sometimes mediation helps spouses clarify, in a calm setting, whether a shared road still exists.

The legal force of the agreement signed in mediation

When signed, the mediation agreement is a private document. It can acquire enforceable character through notarial authentication, through confirmation by the court in a consent judgment, or through the verification and attestation of the agreement by the parties’ lawyers or by a notary, under the conditions of the law (art. 58 of Law no. 192/2006, including para. 2^1 introduced by Law no. 154/2019). For understandings concerning the transfer of ownership or other real rights over immovable property, property divisions and succession cases, the law imposes specific mandatory formalities. In divorce proceedings already under way, the judge can take note of the parents’ understanding — including with regard to the children, if it serves the best interests of the child. And if you settle through mediation a dispute already pending before the court, the court may order, at the request of the interested party, the refund of the judicial stamp duty paid, under the conditions of art. 63 of Law no. 192/2006; for disputes concerning the transfer of ownership or other real rights over immovable property, property divisions and succession cases the law provides special rules, and in certain succession cases the duty is not refunded. We explained the mechanism at length in our article on the legal force of the mediation agreement.

What mediation does differently from a lawsuit

A divorce lawsuit involving minors follows the court’s calendar and rules, and can turn children into disputed territory: psycho-social inquiries, witnesses, reports, hearing after hearing. Mediation reverses the logic:

• the parents decide — the people who know the children best build the arrangement, not a third party who sees them for an hour in a courtroom;
• at their own pace — the schedule of the sessions is set by the parties, together with the mediator, according to everyone’s availability;
• in a private setting — mediation is confidential, under the conditions of the law: the parties’ statements and proposals cannot be used as evidence in judicial or arbitral proceedings, subject to the exceptions provided by law or agreed by the parties (art. 53 of Law no. 192/2006);
• with solutions the parents own — a contact schedule negotiated by both parents reflects their own understanding, rather than a solution imposed from outside.

“But we cannot even talk to each other any more”

That is exactly what the mediator is for. Mediation techniques — separate sessions, reframing, ordering the topics from the simplest to the hardest — are designed for situations where direct communication has broken down. If meeting face to face feels too heavy at first, we can work for a while in separate sessions, where each of you talks only to us. You do not need to arrive “reconciled” at mediation; you only need to arrive.

How it starts, in practice

The first step costs you nothing: the information session about mediation is free of charge. You describe your situation, we tell you honestly whether and how it can be mediated, and we answer all your questions. If you choose to go ahead, we sign the mediation preparation contract, then we study and assess your file — as a rule, this takes at least one working day, depending on complexity — and only after this assessment do we communicate the fee; our way of working is described on the fees page. We then invite the other party to mediation: if they accept, we sign the mediation contract and the procedure itself begins; if they refuse, we record the closure in an official report.

A thought for parents

Ten years from now, the children will not remember who “won”. They will remember whether their parents managed to remain parents. Mediation does not guarantee that — but it creates a setting designed precisely to keep it possible. If you are going through a separation and want to know whether your situation is suited to mediation, write to us — we reply discreetly and with no obligation.

Legal sources: Romanian Law no. 192/2006 on mediation and the organisation of the mediator profession, consolidated form consulted on 14 July 2026. Last legal review of this article: 14 July 2026.