How to prepare for your first mediation session: a practical guide

The good news: mediation does not require trial-level preparation. No statements of defence, no evidence stage, no courtroom nerves. And yet, an hour of honest preparation before the first session matters: you come to the conversation with clear objectives, the right documents and somewhat steadier emotions. We have gathered here, in checklist form, everything we recommend to those who walk through our door for the first time. And if you would like the big picture first, we have explained separately what mediation is and how it works, step by step.

Step 0: come to the information session — it is free of charge

Before any list of documents, it helps to know where you stand. Your first contact with our office is the information session about mediation — free of charge and with no obligation. We explain how the procedure unfolds, what can be resolved through mediation in your specific situation, and we answer all your questions. We discuss the mediation fee only after studying and assessing your file — an assessment that usually takes at least one working day, depending on complexity. Our way of working is described transparently on the fees page.

1. Clarify your interests, not just your position

Your position is what you ask for ("I want the advance payment returned in full"). Your interest is why you ask for it ("I want to recover my investment and close this chapter by summer"). In mediation, lasting agreements are built on interests, not on positions. Before the session, answer three questions in writing:

• What do I actually want to obtain — and why does it matter to me?
• What do I think the other side wants — and why?
• What does a "good enough" outcome look like for me, one year from now?

You do not need perfect answers. You need honest ones — that is what we build on together, at the mediation table.

2. Know your alternative

Negotiators call it BATNA: your best alternative to a negotiated agreement. In most cases the alternative is litigation — estimate realistically how long it would take, what it would cost and what your chances are. Every offer at the mediation table is compared against this alternative, not against the ideal outcome. A lawyer can help you assess it properly; bring the estimate to the session. As a starting point, we have compared the costs and duration of litigation versus mediation.

3. The preparation checklist: documents, objectives, mandate

This is the core of your preparation. Three categories, three short lists — tick what applies to your situation.

The documents

You do not need a court file, only what supports the discussion:

• the disputed contract and any addenda;
• relevant correspondence: e-mails, formal notices, messages;
• statements, valuations, unpaid invoices or proof of payment;
• for property division: the list of shared assets and debts;
• for disagreements about children: the current schedule, special needs, the school calendar.

Everything you bring remains confidential, under the conditions set by the law: statements and proposals made in the course of mediation cannot be used as evidence in judicial or arbitral proceedings, save for the exceptions provided by law or agreed by the parties (Article 53 of Law no. 192/2006).

The objectives

• the outcome you want, phrased in a single sentence;
• two or three alternative outcomes you could accept;
• the threshold below which choosing your alternative would be more reasonable;
• the non-material things that matter to you: an apology, a preserved relationship, discretion.

The mandate to decide

• if you negotiate for yourself, come prepared to decide — not just to listen;
• if you negotiate on behalf of a company, make sure you have the mandate to conclude an agreement — or that the decision-maker is available by phone for the duration of the session;
• nothing deflates a negotiation like "I will have to ask and come back to you".

4. Prepare emotionally

You will sit in the same room — or in the same video call, if you choose online mediation — with the person you are in conflict with. It is fine for that to feel uncomfortable. Two things help:

• remember that you can request a break or a private conversation with the mediator at any time;
• prepare a short, calm statement of your point of view that you can deliver even under emotion.

We manage the rest: the framework, the pace and the balance of the discussion.

What NOT to do

• Do not arrive with prepared ultimatums — they block the very mechanism that makes mediation work.
• Do not hide essential information that will surface anyway — an agreement built on omissions does not last.
• Do not schedule something right after — a good session has its own rhythm; haste is expensive.

How the first mediation session unfolds

Together we sign the mediation contract — the one that enshrines confidentiality, under the conditions set by the law —, we set the ground rules, and then each party presents its perspective, uninterrupted. Often it is this first calm telling — perhaps the first after months of tense messages — that sets the conversation in motion.

Do you have a concrete situation and want to find out whether mediation suits it? Write to us or call us — we will schedule the free information session and answer all your questions, with no obligation.

Legal sources: Romanian Law no. 192/2006 on mediation and the organisation of the mediator profession, consolidated form consulted on 14 July 2026. Last legal review of this article: 14 July 2026.